I read something today and it made me really think about life and where we are at this given moment. What I read was this:
“If you are reading this you have survived your entire life up to this point. You have survived traumas, heartbreak, devastation, and the different phases of life. And here you are. You go motherfucker, you are awesome.”
I read that and realized that no matter what someone can take away from you and how things might be going at this moment you have already survived a lot and you are someone special and there is no one else that has been through what you have been through. You are unique and you have something to offer the world whether or not you think so and whether or not you feel like even one person will listen. People do things for all sorts of reason. They do things out of fear and anger and resentment and desperation. Yes, some people do things out of hate for you, but most likely out of disappointment in themselves. They will try to cover it up with smiles and futile recoveries that are a little too late, but nonetheless they will try these things and some people will never learn and continue to behave this way. This however does not mean that you have to let them stifle your growth as the wonderful human being that you are and that you have always been. Even if you do not believe me, it is true and you have only done one thing wrong; you have not been for whatever reason, able to accept the fact that you are an incredible being that belongs right up there with all of those people that you admire and respect and not because you are better than anyone else, but because you are simply you.
I know that you might be sitting there thinking to yourself, who would need to hear something like this as it is a basic concept that should be so easy to understand and incorporate into our day to day lives. However, most of us spend so much time worrying about what we are wearing or what coffee we are drinking or what the person on the train next to us thinks of us that we completely miss out on those amazing moments where we shine and where we are exposed to incredible kindnesses that are there to do what they are meant to do, and that is to remind us of how important we are and that we are meant to make a contribution to this world. The truth is that we are so significant that if we only knew to what extent we would look at life as something to be explored and shared and nurtured and never taken for granted, no matter how rough it may seem at the moment.
Let me ask a simple question. What would you do or how would you feel if those incredible kindnesses that you show others, no matter how insignificant, were to disappear from those people’s lives because you did not think that they meant anything? What would you do if the person showing you those kindnesses thought the same thing and when you needed it at a crucial point in your life it was not there? How would it make you feel and how would your actions change based on something that you never gave two thoughts about in the first place? Would you still go forward with what your original intentions were with a little more doubt and weariness, or would you abandon them totally and never do it at all, and how would that change your life and cause you to go down a different path? How would that affect everyone else that you would have given one of those kindnesses to? Would you be so inclined to give them anyway or would you decide not to because you just do not have it in you because it is just too hard to give someone that smile or hold a door for someone, to tell them that they are in your thoughts and that you care about them by simply telling yourself that you cannot go out of your way in the smallest of ways. How would that trickle down to the next person and the next person and the next person????? What would that look like when it finally came back to you and would you even realize that it has gotten that far?
Life comes down to the basics and that how we treat one another really matters and makes a bigger difference than you and I can possibly comprehend. I know how hard it can be as I have been through some incredibly horrible things myself, but I am here writing about forgiveness and compassion. Not because I get shown it a great deal on a daily, weekly or even monthly basis, or that my life has suddenly turned into that dream that we all wish for when we sleep or when we zone out to a place that is much better than our current reality. I am saying it because it needs to be said, because whether or not we understand or accept it to be true, it is and there is nothing that we can do about that fact. What we do with this knowledge is what really counts and how we take control of our lives with what is true and real is how we are going to be more or less aware of all of the wonderful things around us.
It is about being self-aware of the good as well as the bad. Unfortunately we cannot have one without the other and the sooner we realize that the better off we are going to be also. I told a friend of mine not too long ago who is an alcoholic that no one can blame you for becoming an alcoholic. No one sets out to be an alcoholic. That I would never judge you for that and that you are not defined by that. What you are defined by is how you now deal with the reality that you are now an alcoholic. That is what defines who you are as a person. The same goes for any addiction or problem that anyone might have. I have had them and I deal with the consequences of them every day of my life, but I refuse to let them dictate my life and who I am today and in my future. I know that some people are completely unable to see someone differently and for the person that they have become but let me tell you something, that is them living in the past and completely their problem. Some people for whatever reason refuse to see you for the stronger and wiser person that you have become today. They never will and that can be for any number of reasons, but that is their problem and that defines them and not you.
Sometimes we stray off of the road that we are meant to be on and that is completely alright. No one gets it right the first time and no one does it alone. If there is someone that tells you any differently, they are lying and you should run. We are who we are and there is nothing that we can do about the past. What we have complete control over is the present and the future and how we choose to look at it. We as people are defined by right here and right now. What do you want your actions to say about you and who you are a person? What would you say about yourself in ten years if you looked back at whom you are today and saw how you treated others and how you looked at the world based on the circumstances that you were dealt then? The question to ask yourself is this:
If you cannot say that you did the best that you could have, can you say that you learned from what you did and then go out and do it better or are you going to be one of those people that continue doing the same thing because it is easier and it is all that you know? That says one thing, and that is you are using your past as an excuse to continue to do the same thing over and over again for whatever reason. Everyone is slighted and everyone gets a raw deal sometimes, but what are you going to do with it to change those patterns for yourself? It does not matter what someone else does or how they continue to treat you. Be on the lookout for those positive things and those incredible kindnesses that are going to make your world and the world around you a much sweeter place. Do not wait for someone else to do it first, you be the first to do it. Let the good stuff take over as soon as possible and start living that way now. Do not wait for someone else to initiate what is good in your life. That is completely up to you and the moment that you understand that you are the only one responsible for your own happiness the happier you are going to be.
There are going to be those bad days and those days where you have reached the end of your rope. When you get to that point it is even more crucial to be on the lookout for and appreciate those incredible kindnesses even more as those are what is going to get you and everyone else through. That is all the rope that you need. Vigorously take it, tie a knot in the end and pass it on. The truth of the matter is, we are all we have got and the sooner we accept that and start treating one another as such we are going to continue to walk down this path and we all know where it leads. It is time for a change, for better choices and it all starts with you……what are you waiting for???!!